Reading the Room, One Chapter at a Time

As a recruiter/TA professional, I get a lot of emails and inmails. It’s bound to happen. I get the unsolicited resume and the sales pitch from staffing agencies, or better yet, let me help you with your financial education. What tends to be the big miss is people reading the room or the situation, which goes back to the #greenbanner debate. I have it up for a reason: I’m looking for a new opportunity.

What’s the difference between a successful pitch and a not-so-successful one? People know how to read a room. That skill doesn’t just make people good at what we do, but in all situations — whether in a one-on-one meeting, a sales pitch, or a networking event.

Like most communication skills, however, reading the room is something that you can practice and master. Learning to pick up on what isn’t being said can enhance your presentation and communication skills. These tips will help you become a more effective and engaging communicator.

Prologue: What does it mean?

Reading the room means picking up on the subtle, nonverbal cues of a group of people. In practice, you become adept at noticing and responding to microreactions or nonverbal clues. These might include body language, minute facial expressions, and context clues. By paying close attention to how people respond to you, you can react accordingly. Noticing these cues can help you keep your audience engaged in the conversation. This process of adjustment and assessment is a feedback cycle that enriches the quality of communication.

Chapter 1: Importance

Whether you’re talking to a small group, a vast audience, or just one other person, reading the room is critical. Tuning into their energy and body language can help you have more satisfying and productive conversations.

The ability to notice these cues (and what they say about the thoughts of the people you’re talking to) can be practiced and honed.

1. Improves communication. Learning to pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal communication means that you get more out of each conversation.
2. Better business outcomes. When you can tell that a conversation is going well (or poorly), you’re likelier to close deals and win over clients.
3. Establishes rapport. When people feel heard and respected in a conversation, they like the speaker more. A disconnect between the speaker and the audience creates stagnant, negative energy.
4. Increases engagement. If listeners feel you are tuned in, they’ll pay more attention. Increased engagement means that they get more out of the interaction and that the speaker doesn’t have to work as hard to keep their attention.
5. Avoid disaster. Have you ever seen a conversation or interaction between two people go downhill fast? Getting good at reading signals can help you pivot a conversation that’s going sour before there’s irreversible damage.

Surprisingly enough, this skill even works in digital environments. Once you learn how to gauge attentiveness, you’ll notice when people are not paying attention. These cues can dramatically improve the quality of conversations you have with others.

Chapter 2: How to Read

When you learn how to read the room, what you’re doing is paying attention to subtle feedback that indicates how people are feeling. In particular, you’re learning to read three things: attentiveness, engagement, and sentiment.

Attentiveness is whether or not your audience is paying attention to you. If they’re uninterested in your words, their body language usually tips you off.

Engagement is the level of interest and response from your listeners. People may pay attention out of politeness, but engagement is challenging to fake. An engaged audience will ask questions, take notes, correct you if you make a mistake, and are unlikely to multitask.

Sentiment refers to how your listeners are feeling. By watching their reactions, you can tell if they agree or disagree with you, like or dislike you, or are uncomfortable. Discomfort might be related to the topic or other concerns (for example, a conference room that is too cold, bad lighting, or cognitive overload).

There are several techniques you can practice to get better at reading the attentiveness, engagement, and sentiment of your audience. Here are five ways to get better at reading a room:

1. Learn to read nonverbal cues. What are people doing while you’re speaking? Are they sighing, sitting back, crossing their arms, rolling their eyes, smiling, or scratching their heads? These microexpressions and gestures can indicate how they’re receiving information. If you see any of these — particularly if it’s repeated or happening in most of the group — don’t step over it. Say something like, “Uh-oh — I see everyone’s checking their phones. Did I lose you, or is it lunchtime?”
2. Stay out of your head. Novice public speakers and presenters should be more relaxed about getting through their content to pay attention to their audience. Stay present and focused. Keeping your attention off of yourself lets you pay closer attention to the group dynamics.
3. Practice reading between the lines. Many people don’t listen when others speak to them. We have the habit of thinking about what our response will be while the other person is saying. As a result, we might catch the words but need to see the nuance.
4. Ask for feedback. You can find out how it went before the conversation is over. You can check in periodically to make sure you have retained your audience. For example, after covering a complex topic, pause and talk directly to your listeners (or learners). Recap and ask them if it’s okay to continue speaking.
5. Remember basic needs. When I taught continuing education classes, the teachers joked that “the mind can only absorb what the bottom can endure.” Even the most impressive speaker or exciting topic won’t keep an audience engaged if they’re hungry or tired. Giving people time to disconnect allows them to return to the topic refreshed later. It’s only possible to stick it out if they retain something.

The Final Chapter

When you learn to read the room successfully, you and the people you’re speaking to get more out of your conversation. Reading the room helps you adjust (in real-time) to make sure communication is clear. However, it also enables you to hear what’s not being said and can help you express concerns, confusion, frustration, and anything else that muddles your message.

Learning to read the room takes practice. Work with a friend, coach, or mentor to build self-awareness and communication skills. You’ll find that more than any other, this skill will make you a more confident and effective speaker.

More importantly, know your audience. In this job market, be kind to those looking for employment — offer support, advice, and empathy and what you’re selling.